To unlimit, or the art of ‘unstucking’
This blog post idea came after a friend suggested I write about how I have unstuck myself in the past. I thought about it and realized each time I had been stuck, it was due to limits I had imposed on myself. And most of these limits existed only in my mind.
One of my past mentor, a teacher of theology at the University of Toronto, has changed my life the day she told me: ‘whatever you believe is the truth, and life will prove it to you’. This lesson was a hard one to swallow. I even resented her for a while to throw on my shoulder the great responsibility of my reality. To put me in charge of changing my beliefs in order to change my life. That is until I accepted her statement fully, making it a mantra, opening my mind to a complete new freedom to recreate myself and my life, again and again as I pleased.
Whatever you believe is the truth, and life will prove it to you.
What? My beliefs are impacting my life? My reality? Until then, I had no idea it was possible to change my beliefs, or that some of them limited my life. But at the end of the day I had to agree with her, and then my inner life became unlimited, thus unlimiting my outer life! Each time I thought there was a solution to a problem, an answer would come within my reach. And if I thought a situation had become impossible, it was due to the fact I believed accordingly and did not even look for a solution
My inner life became unlimited, thus unlimiting my outer life.
To unstuck myself I also take my mind off things. I take a break, I let go of a problem, accepting that in that moment I had no idea how to solve it, but that a solution does exist. I read somewhere that each time the universe encounters a challenge, it already has created a solution. Every problem or challenge becomes a treasure hunt, a fun adventure. Often I just go out and play and the answer shows up.
Often I just go out and play and the answer shows up.
The corporate mandate that keeps me busy this month came to me a day that I let go and took my dog for a walk. In the trail, I met a neighbor and told her I was prospecting for new clients. She said: ‘call this business, the owner is looking for someone like you’. I did, met him and got hired. The solution came when I stopped looking for it. Another fun way for me to get unstuck is to imagine I am a solution magnet and let my intuition guide me. The more I follow my gut and remain in the present, having fun, the stronger I attract solutions. After all, we live on earth under the grace of the power of attraction. Without her we’d be lost in space!
Suit up and show up
Suit up and show up. This expression was taught to me years ago while I was battling depression, a difficult and lonely way to be stuck. Someone suggested I dress up like a successful person every morning and get out of my zone. To act against my will, my self-pity and dark moods. Like this day I got out to walk the dog, suiting up and showing up, being visible gets me unstuck. I also suit up and show up at various events even when I don’t feel like it. Even more when I don’t feel like it, and I ask questions. My introverted self hates to do that but I do it anyway. I ask others how they do stuff, I ask for suggestions on how to solve my challenges. That is what I was doing today, and it got me inspired.
I was talking to a good friend, who is a professional marketer, looking for a signature that would define me on the home page of my website. She asked ‘what are 3 words that define you?’ I replied: hum… creativity, innovation, inspiration…’ then I said: ‘is to unlimit a verb?’ ‘No’ she said. I did not believe her, and a click on google later I had my signature. I unlimit people and situations. By the way, writing this article, I can see the verb to unlimit is so rarely used that the autocorrect is underlining it everywhere. Proof that we can’t automatically believe we are wrong if a system or someone disapproves.
I unlimit myself each time I unlimit someone.
This is exactly what I do. And unlimiting others allows me to do it for myself by osmosis. Often an answer I was looking for comes to me while helping someone find their own answers. And am not the only one, the first, the last to unlimit as this verb conjugates itself in all tenses and persons.
I unlimit, you unlimit, he unlimits… we all have done it and we will keep doing it.
Sometimes, to unstuck myself I had to jump overboard, abandon ship as in my first business where I had to go bankrupt. After I tried everything I could, got myself in a burn-out, had played all my cards, I found a last one: I gave up, I admitted defeat. When your ship is sinking, might as well jump in the lifeboat. I consulted with an accountant who helped me sell my business through a bankruptcy agent.
When your ship is sinking, might as well jump in the lifeboat.
The business lived on and I moved on (it was a good business idea, I was just a young inexperienced and bad businessperson). I was beat. My bankruptcy was one of the best thing to happen to me. I learned so much of what I should not do! A friend who’s in manufacturing once told me: ‘I have to tell my staff what to do and also what not to do, i have to tell them my mistakes so they don’t make the same’. I learned it pays to make mistakes. It shows me the wrong way to do things. I also jumped off board of a few love relationships, visit Choosing the right one to learn about my love tribulations.
To unstuck others, I also tell them about my own difficulties. I reveal my not so pretty sides. I humanise myself and they feel safe to reveal theirs, their limiting beliefs, and they find the courage to act out of their comfort zone and reinvent their reality.
Also, I accept myself. I love myself with all my limiting thoughts, my mistakes along the way and my weaknesses. I see myself as a baby learning to walk, falling on my face, hesitating and often I let me have a good cry, as my hero Celine Dion did so many times. If she can cry and succeed, so can I! It is reassuring. I also am kind to myself, I hug myself, console myself and give me a hug and a kiss and send me out to play. I remember a sage old lady in a spiritual study group. Us, younger women, looked up to her each time she talked. One day she was sharing on how she dealt with difficult situations as we listened religiously. After she told us all her tricks, she concluded by saying: ‘and if all that doesn’t work, I eat something really good’, a big smile on her face! We all burst out laughing and felt so close to her, we were together in this. I never forgot that advice.
And if all that doesn’t work, I eat something really good!
When I feel stuck, I also go work in my favorite cafes. I move the problem around. I treat myself to a delicious meal. For example, I often do the accounting at a local restaurant eating their yummy chili. I associate pleasurable things to unpleasant tasks. I write most of my blogs and books drinking delicious lattes and shakes in inspiring settings.
To conclude and to amuse myself playing with words (which is really unlimiting for me, I admit to reading the dictionary for inspiration), I often unlimit myself by limiting myself. Like at this moment, there are enough words on this post to unlimit you without limits. So I will limit myself to what I already wrote, press publish and go unlimit myself elsewhere.
I am looking forward to your comments and wish you happy unlimitations.
Hélène Nicole. Unlimited.