What about unlimiting ourselves? Looking at a rarely used and quite unlimiting verb.

To unlimit, or the art of ‘unstucking’

This blog post idea came after a friend suggested I write about how I have unstuck myself in the past. I thought about it and realized each time I had been stuck,  it was due to limits I had imposed on myself.  And most of these limits existed only in my mind.

One of my past mentor, a teacher of theology at the University of Toronto, has changed my life the day she told me: ‘whatever you believe is the truth, and life will prove it to you’.  This lesson was a hard one to swallow. I even resented her for a while to throw on my shoulder the great responsibility of my reality.  To put me in charge of changing my beliefs in order to change my life. That is until I accepted her statement fully, making it a mantra, opening my mind to a complete new freedom to recreate myself and my life, again and again as I pleased.

Whatever you believe is the truth, and life will prove it to you.

 

What? My beliefs are impacting my life? My reality? Until then, I had no idea it was possible to change my beliefs, or that some of them limited my life.  But at the end of the day I had to agree with her, and then my inner life became unlimited, thus unlimiting my outer life! Each time I thought there was a solution to a problem, an answer would come within my reach. And if I thought a situation had become impossible, it was due to the fact I believed accordingly and did not even look for a solution

My inner life became unlimited, thus unlimiting my outer life.

 

To unstuck myself I also take my mind off things. I take a break, I let go of a problem, accepting that in that moment I had no idea how to solve it, but that a solution does exist. I read somewhere that each time the universe encounters a challenge, it already has created a solution. Every problem or challenge becomes a treasure hunt, a fun adventure.  Often I just go out and play and the answer shows up.

Often I just go out and play and the answer shows up. 

 

The corporate mandate that keeps me busy this month came to me a day that I let go and took my dog for a walk. In the trail, I met a neighbor and told her I was prospecting for new clients. She said: ‘call this business, the owner is looking for someone like you’. I did, met him and got hired. The solution came when I stopped looking for it. Another fun way for me to get unstuck is to imagine I am a solution magnet and let my intuition guide me. The more I follow my gut and remain in the present, having fun, the stronger I attract solutions. After all, we live on earth under the grace of the power of attraction. Without her we’d be lost in space!

Suit up and show up

 

Suit up and show up. This expression was taught to me years ago while I was battling depression, a difficult and lonely way to be stuck.  Someone suggested I dress up like a successful person every morning and get out of my zone.  To act against my will, my self-pity and dark moods. Like this day I got out to walk the dog, suiting up and showing up, being visible gets me unstuck. I also suit up and show up at various events even when I don’t feel like it. Even more when I don’t feel like it, and I ask questions. My introverted self hates to do that but I do it anyway. I ask others how they do stuff, I ask for suggestions on how to solve my challenges. That is what I was doing today, and it got me inspired.

I was talking to a good friend, who is a professional marketer, looking for a signature that would define me on the home page of my website. She asked ‘what are 3 words that define you?’ I replied: hum… creativity, innovation, inspiration…’ then I said: ‘is to unlimit a verb?’  ‘No’ she said. I did not believe her, and a click on google later I had my signature. I unlimit people and situations.  By the way, writing this article, I can see the verb to unlimit is so rarely used that the autocorrect is underlining it everywhere.  Proof that we can’t automatically believe we are wrong if a system or someone disapproves.

I unlimit myself each time I unlimit someone.

 

This is exactly what I do. And unlimiting others allows me to do it for myself by osmosis. Often an answer I was looking for comes to me while helping someone find their own answers. And am not the only one, the first, the last to unlimit as this verb conjugates itself in all tenses and persons.

I unlimit, you unlimit, he unlimits… we all have done it and we will keep doing it.

Sometimes, to unstuck myself I had to jump overboard, abandon ship as in my first business where I had to go bankrupt. After I tried everything I could, got myself in a burn-out, had played all my cards, I found a last one: I gave up, I admitted defeat. When your ship is sinking, might as well jump in the lifeboat.  I consulted with an accountant who helped me sell my business through a bankruptcy agent.

When your ship is sinking, might as well jump in the lifeboat.

 

The business lived on and I moved on (it was a good business idea, I was just a young inexperienced and bad businessperson).  I was beat. My bankruptcy was one of the best thing to happen to me. I learned so much of what I should not do!  A friend who’s in manufacturing once told me: ‘I have to tell my staff what to do and also what not to do, i have to tell them my mistakes so they don’t make the same’.  I learned it pays to make mistakes.  It shows me the wrong way to do things. I also jumped off board of a few love relationships, visit Choosing the right one to learn about my love tribulations.

To unstuck others, I also tell them about my own difficulties. I reveal my not so pretty sides. I humanise myself and they feel safe to reveal theirs, their limiting beliefs, and they find the courage to act out of their comfort zone and reinvent their reality.

Also, I accept myself. I love myself with all my limiting thoughts, my mistakes along the way and my weaknesses. I see myself as a baby learning to walk, falling on my face, hesitating and often I let me have a good cry, as my hero Celine Dion did so many times.  If she can cry and succeed, so can I! It is reassuring. I also am kind to myself, I hug myself, console myself and give me a hug and a kiss and send me out to play.  I remember a sage old lady in a spiritual study group.  Us, younger women, looked up to her each time she talked. One day she was sharing on how she dealt with difficult situations as we listened religiously. After she told us all her tricks, she concluded by saying: ‘and if all that doesn’t work, I eat something really good’, a big smile on her face! We all burst out laughing and felt so close to her, we were together in this. I never forgot that advice.

And if all that doesn’t work, I eat something really good!

 

When I feel stuck, I also go work in my favorite cafes. I move the problem around.  I treat myself to a delicious meal. For example, I often do the accounting at a local restaurant eating their yummy chili. I associate pleasurable things to unpleasant tasks. I write most of my blogs and books drinking delicious lattes and shakes in inspiring settings.

To conclude and to amuse myself playing with words (which is really unlimiting for me, I admit to reading the dictionary for inspiration), I often unlimit myself by limiting myself. Like at this moment, there are enough words on this post to unlimit you without limits. So I will limit myself to what I already wrote, press publish and go unlimit myself elsewhere.

I am looking forward to your comments and wish you happy unlimitations.

Hélène Nicole.  Unlimited. 

What if life was easy?

My life is easy but I make it hard.

I worry about the future when all is good in the present. I waste hours this way or running away on the internet or on some tv serie on Netflix. I try to run from my terrifying ideas about what the futur might bring me.

But the reality is that my life is easy when I respect 3 states of being;

-Being present

-Being myself and do my part

-Being positive and keep me in the light (with other positive beings)

These 3 states will be the base of my next book, Happiness within your reach. The first state requires to be present. We live in the present, not in the future or in the past. In school we first teach us the present tense for a reason. It is in the present that we create the future and repair the past. But how to remain present? By looking inward. By calming our thoughts. I have many ways to calm my mental; I meditate in various ways, I write, I walk in nature, I sit in a park and think in silence, observing what is around me. I learned transcendantal meditation and other guided forms of meditation. Sometimes i simply recite over and over the serenity prayer like a mantra.

Being present means observing what is and accept it. If I am afraid, I observe: oh, am afraid. And I start a conversation with that part of me that is afraid. It is very easy to discuss if we are in the role of an observer, not a fixer.  -Tell me more, I tell this part of me that is afraid or concerned.  Sometimes my fear is justified, she suggest I pay closer attention to something. Sometimes it is irrational or based in my lack of connection.  For example, my greatest fear is failing. But if I look back, all my failures have become spring board for my successes, so a good thing. My experience comes directly from my failures.  In job offers we often see that the employer is looking for someone with experience. Dah! They are looking for someone who has failed and learned. But in our resume we usually only list our successes!  Failing has never killed me. Failing has put me on another path. The only part of me that suffers when I fail is my ego. The real me never fails, it keeps going on the next adventure just like in the sand box, when a castle fell apart I started building another one immediately with more tools in my tool box this time.

Right now I am writing this sitting at the Star Café near my house. Life is easy today. I woke up and decided to take me for breakfast to write this article which was inspired by my morning meditation. I am hearing all kinds of sounds around me. The music from the radio is not too loud, the kitchen fan as my favorite spot is by the kitchen at the very end of the café near the bathroom and I can see the cooks doing their thing. I hear the noise of the dishes being moved in a muffled way as I am wearing a warm headband that soften all the sounds around me. And I write. It is easy. If I start thinking instead of writing (notice I am now in the 2nd state of being, being myself, doing my part), so if I start thinking everything gets complicated. I can start to think that this article won’t be good and then pouf! All the inspiration is gone. When my inspiration leaves I go back to the present. I observe what is happening around me. That is how I observed the noises around me and so I shared it with you and that got me going again. 1,2,3, I go from those states over and over. Reading and writing is part of who I am so I am taking you to my 2nd state: being myself and doing my part.

Being myself, doing my part

I spent a long time searching who I was unsuccessfully and it made my life hard. So I decided to do the opposite: I searched for who I was not! It is a lot easier to eliminate options than to find them! If you are looking for a needle in a stack of hay, it will be really hard. But if you look for the hay and remove it, it will be easy. A bit long but easy. So I stopped being who I was not little by little. I still am. I realized that if I stopped being who I was not, one day all that would be left would be me. I also read somewhere ‘be who you are, all the other positions are taken’. I am here this morning because I am not a very good cook or food planner and this morning in my house there was nothing inspiring to eat. I am not a plaster man either so one was at my house repairing a wall early this morning while I was choosing what clothes I would bring to Japan where I will be in the next 6 weeks.

To discover who you are,

simply stop being who you are not.

I adopted this strategy almost two years ago when I started a sabbatical time in between two careers. So in being less and less who I am not, I am becoming more and more who I am. There is a lot of progress, nothing is perfect and fear of myself makes me go back to who I am not often. The other day someone commented on the fact that I do not eat sugar. This person said: ‘I find you are depriving yourself of a lot of things. You don’t eat sugar, chocolate, don’t drink coffee. Most people eat and drink these without problems.’ I replied to this person: I am not most people and most people do not live the life I live and want. Most people in the world have jobs they are not passionnate about, most people must numb themselves as they suffer. I live a passionate life, filled with freedom and adventures but to access this life, I need to dig into a well of creativity and intuition and I noticed that sugar, chocolate, coffee and all those excitants contribute to disconnecting me from my intuition. So I am not depriving myself, it is the contrary. My choices allow me a greater life, much more sensual and sensorial experiences. Yes I feel the pain much deeply but I also feel the joy, the peace, the beauty, who I am and who others are in a much deeper way. Letting go of these substances and some behaviors brings me so much more it is not even a deprivation. Thanks to my state of being very perceptive, I can do my part.  At this moment I am doing my part. I must give to receive, it is the virtuous circle of life. Each of us has a special talent that the world needs. In this moment I am sharing the result of my morning meditation and a conversation with a friend and coach, Bruce Bigot who I met yesterday which brings me to the 3rd state.

The last state of being to have it easy is to remain positive. In my spiritual program I am always told: are you part of the solution or are you part of the problem.  We must choose at each instant to be in the solution.  David Hawkins has created a map of consciousness and I use it a lot when I guide people to observe their state of consciousness.  You will find a link to this map at the bottom of the article.

To remain positive I list my options as when I am in the negativity I do not see any. If I cannot find solutions I ask for help.  My guides, coaches, friends, partners and even strangers know how to get me out of my rut. Each time I ask for help I receive it. If the person can’t help me I ask the next one on my list. Remaining positive means remaining connectted to other human beings as if everyone has a role to play, someone’s role is to help me to find solutions to my problems while being myself so I can let someone else be themselves by asking for help.

In the last few weeks I was not feeling very inspired. I was looking at my vision and I had been told to do a marketing plan and one of my assistant had done a schedule for writing but I just could not get myself going. So I went to see my friend Bruce Bigot, who is one of my guides. Bruce put it very simple. He said: forget about the marketing plan. Simply channel what comes to you whenever it comes to you. So here I am the next day sharing with you the guidance I received. And this will be my marketing plan from now on. When the ball is thrown at me, I will throw it back at you. End of the marketing plan.

Peace on earth will come when each and everyone of us will have found inner peace.

 

World peace will be come when each of us will arrive to our own inner peace, when we will be present, ourselves, each of us doing his or her part and remaining positive.

Hélène Nicole

David Hawkins’s Map of consciousness

Note:  % of population per level do not seem to come from David Hawkins in this example and I am not endorsing them, as for me, numbers are a judgement and ego based as the ego wants to qualify and quantify everything. I personally never stay in one state of consciousness very long. I am always moving up and down and it is my decision to change my level of consciousness when I become aware it’s not bringing me joy by switching my thoughts elsewhere.

Single and madly in love with yourself

Valentine day is coming and I have an ‘amoureux’. There is not an exact translation for that French word which means someone who’s in love with you. But it was not always my situation.

I remember a certain Valentine evening while I was single against my will. A girlfriend had invited me to a Valentine dinner and dance telling me there was a seat with my name on it at the single’s table. I went, thinking I might find love. Well, love found me but not that night! I sat with 7 other young ladies past their sixties, who were all single and very happy to be. Most were widows and when I asked if they wanted to get married again, a big NO WAY JOSE came forth.  Been there, done that, not happening again.  I promised myself not to end up alone and getting old disliking the idea of ever having a man in my life again. Not I, I remember thinking. It all ended well but let me tell you why…

Before I met him, I met myself. I became the love of my life. In French we say l’amour avec un grand A. Amour with a capital A. So Love with a capital L. I created this ideal companion that I dreamt about within myself. After all, I had created so much for myself from the inside out, why not applying my winning recipe to relationship I told myself?

I started a dialogue with an ideal husband. Where would this ideal man take me on a holiday? I took myself there. We would travel together here, and there, go eat in that restaurant, dance in that bal. I took myself to all those places. He would surely build a nice fence around the yard. I had one built for me. Surely he’d love dogs so I got one. And since he would train it much better than I, I made him come alive through me and took some dog training courses.

To resume all this, I started to treat me like the ideal man, the one on the white horse from the storybook would treat me.  I bought myself flowers, a whole garden in fact. I wrote me love letters telling me how I was the most beautiful, the best. I asked myself how it would be to be adored and adored myself to find out.

I was dreaming of a man who would support my career. So I supported it myself. I hired coaches, surrounded myself with a team.  This companion would help my dreams to come true. So I helped myself to make them come true. I talked to him constantly.  He lived within me.

I forgave myself for my mistakes, we laughed about me, me myself and I. I explored all these not so nice parts of myself, the pretty ones, the horrible ones, the boring parts too.  We fought, we took each other hostages me and my parts, taking turn not wanting to give in, obstinate and some of us balked at new ideas. We were wrong so many times and we made up, again and again.  My parts and I learned to live with one another and love each other always more deeply and it’s an ongoing affair. Even my not so firm tummy with the baby scars, the aging lines around my eyes and my smile, we thank them for their testimonials, proof that I have lived, loved, cried and laughed out loud enough times to create those lines.

I fell in love with myself. How? By marrying myself first and promising never to leave me. For better and for worse. By making a vow to never ever letting me down, to always have my own back like the ideal husband would . I will love me first, before  loving anyone else. Nothing will be more important than to taking good care of myself and loving myself no matter what.

Then one day I got myself on dating sites. After a few encounters I realized I was not ready yet. Those I met weren’t either. So I went back to the drawing board. My ideal companion was not ready within myself. I continued to create him better and better. After writing a book, launching a new show, recording a live album and making more dreams come true for myself, I found myself back on a dating site. Better equipped as before. And he found me. Not my type I thought, but I gave him a chance intuitively and good for me.

It has not been a long time, we are learning to know each other but so far so good as he strangely look like the companion I created inside of me, who had been guiding me all this time, in between those relationships that did not last.

So, if you find yourself single right now, enjoy it. If you enjoy it as much as I did, it won’t matter if you are single or not. Being alone will be a choice or not and why? Because when we fall in love with ourselves enough, deeply, and we put ourselves first, we end-up happy alone or are happy with somebody.

So happy Valentine day to you!

How to loose your time in 2019

How to loose your time in 2019.

I started the year by taking my time.  I had planned to write this first post on the topic of yearly resolutions. My title was supposed to be ‘aim for progress rather than perfection for succeed with your new year resolutions. But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered how I could measure my progress since my mission is to live in peace, joy, abundance and beauty whic are states not easy to measure. I suppose I could add more.

So what if I would measure my actions that aim to create this peace, joy, abundance and beauty? Well, one of my action that brings the most peace is to plan. Planning my time, my money, my actions in time. When I fail to plan, I know I am planning to fail.

When I fail to plan, I loose a lot of time. Even if I plan, I still manage to loose part of my time. Where? Hum, I have no tangible proofs since I do not record my lost time in my agenda, that would be too embarassing, but for sure a good chunk of lost time happens on the internet. I am easily distracted by a friend’s post, a picture of a favorite star and a tempting title, or one of these tests! I turned off all possible notifications on my laptop, tablet and cell phone. I even put my cell in black and white for a while to avoid noticing the little numbers that tell me how many important messages are awaiting me.

But my attention is unfaithful. She follows pleasure and tries to escape the tasks that seems less desirable or pleasurable. I find myself cleaning the house when accounting is on my agenda. As fastidious as a task looks to me, the cleaner my house gets.

So on this brand new year, with lots of time to loose, what if I planned where I would loose it? Hum, I do have time to loose. I lost a lot of time in 2018 and still met most of my goals so it is evident that I can loose my time and still succeed. But where would I like to loose it is what am asking myself. (By the way, I act the same way with money so I will apply the same strategy; where to loose my money this year?)

With my new love of my life is my first idea. Then chatting with my kids and my sister who live far away from me. With friends around a nice meal. Reading a book in a cute restaurant. On a beach under the sun. In a road trip. exploring boutiques on a street. Sewing myself a new piece of clothing.  Going to a concert. Calling my dad and his wife more often. And my nieces too. Trying new stuff and new ideas on.

If I plan to plan my lost time and my lost money, I realise I could add lots of peace, joy, abundance and beauty in this new year.

I think I loose time and money due to a need to escape reality and of course due to my add, which is a much talked about topic these days. So in 2019 I will plan where to loose my time to meet my need to escape reality once in a while. Little 15-30 min. here and there in the day. And why not a whole day once in a while. Since I am bound to loose my time (and my money), why not do it consciously.

So I am inviting you to observe your waste of time (and money) and ask yourself if you are wasting it in a joyful, abundant, peaceful and beautiful way, or if you instead waste it unconsciously so that it makes you feel guilty and remorseful? With this new awareness in mind, take back your time and waste it consciously.

Happy new year 2019.

In between relationships – Episode 2

Tools and behaviors – A support system and abstinence

In this episode Geri and I discuss our definitions of a support system, a very important tool to have, how we each built ours, how we are refining it and why it is important to have one. Then we discuss the behavior of abstinence, and what abstinence looks like for both of us. It can be to abstain from certain patterns of thinking to downright not seeing a person anymore, or setting up healthy boundaries.

We are looking forward to your comments!

In between relationships – How to become the love you want

How to become the love you want to attract.

My personal experience showed me that whatever I attract already lived inside of me. If I do not like what i attract, I have to find the part of me that corresponds to it or that complements it. For example, if someone I dated in the past did not make ends meet, neither did I in the lifestyle that my talent could have provided. If someone did not want to change, some parts of me did not either.  These are similarities that attract each other. As well, some parts of us can attract complementary parts of others. When I dated a man who had narcissistic behaviors, the part of me that attracted him was my softness, my kindness which is good to have, but I did not have the proper boundaries in place and I accepted lots more than was appropriate and excused awful behaviors because I understood where they were coming from and thought I could help! So on top of being way too nice, I was also arrogant. I have changed those parts of me with help from friends and a therapist. I attract way different prospects nowadays.

In this 52 video serie, Geri Schipper and I will explore each week a different topic which helped us grow into the person we want to meet. And if we do not meet them, we will be a much better partner for ourselves as the first person to love and treat well is ourself.

Each week we will talk about a different kind of topic; One will be a state of being, such as honesty and gratitude. On the second week we will talk about a tool and behavior, as support system and abstinence. The 3rd week  we will discuss a sense of self such as self-knowledge and on the fourth, a character defect in the way of the state of being discussed in the beginning of the month such as fears, which opposes honesty and gratitude.

Your input is welcome! If a month has 5 weeks, a topic suggested from our audience will be discussed so please send in your request and watch our very first video which was on the state of honesty and gratitude, in our opinion the first step to any good relationship with ourselves and others.

In between relationships, how to become the love you want

In between relationships – How to become the love you wantIn this 52 video serie, Geri Schipper and Helene Nicole will explore each week a different topic which helps them grow into the person they hope to meet. Week 1 of each month they will cover a state of being such as this week, honesty and gratitude. Week 2 of each month they will cover a tool and behavior, for example on the 2nd week support system and abstinence. On the 3rd week of the month they will discuss a sense of self such as self-knowledge and on the 4th week a character defect in the way of a loving relationship such as fear which will be discussed on the 4th video. If a month has 5 weeks, a topic suggested from our audience will be discussed.

Posted by Avotreportee on Monday, January 14, 2019

Money and abundance: how to tap into it

In this fifth day of Christmas, my gift to you is how to develop a conscience of abundance within you, so that you never lack nothing no matter what state your finances are in. Move from poverty within to richness within.